Five Lies Guys Foolishly Convince Themselves Of In The Name Of Love
When you see the person you’re with, your breath literally stops. This person gives you feelings you didn’t think you were capable of experiencing. The relationship is good — most of the time. But every now and then there are “incidents” that make you question yourself and whether you can be in this relationship long-term.
When the doubts arise, you remember the good times and all is well. You kiss; you hug, and have some incredible sex. The consistent physical affection is enough to make you ignore something deep inside of you that’s telling you to wake up. Here are five lies, we as men, tell ourselves in the name of love.
1. “The Emotional Highs And Lows Aren’t Affecting Me.”
Any relationship will involve a wide range of emotions. When you’re with someone who’s different than any other person you’ve been with, these emotions can be intensified. You go through a wide range of highs and lows. But if those emotions are making it hard for you to function, that isn’t normal. You may think this is normal, but they are affecting you physically, mentally, and emotionally. The good news is that you can work through what’s causing the crazy emotions. Talk to friends; talk to a professional, have a deep conversation with the person you love. Don’t let what you perceive as normal in love destroy you.
2. “I Can Always Make More Money.”
When you date, it’s natural to spend some money on the relationship and your partner. As you get serious, some of your finances should come together and work as a team. But you shouldn’t end spending a ridiculous amount of money just to impress or please your partner. As you spend, you might tell yourself that it’s for the love of a person you’ll spend your life with. But if that spending is really eating into your finances, a huge red flag should be going up in your mind. You can’t predict the future. You could get laid off, injured or worse. Your ability to earn money now is not guaranteed in the future. Spend money on your relationship — but do so in a way that makes sense based on what you have and what you might need to keep in reserve.
3. “This Is The Only Relationship That Makes Sense For My Life.”
When you’re deeply in love, it consumes everything you do. You want to be with this person 24/7, lost in their sweet embrace. It feels like they are the only person in the world who gets you and loves you deeply. You can’t picture yourself with someone else, so you ignore the warning signs. You convince yourself to look past everything because they seem like they’re your soulmate. The key to growing as a person is doing the inner work. It means you spend time each day working hard to be the best version of yourself. This inner work takes you to a place of complete honesty. That place should reveal whether this relationship is healthy for you.
4. “It’s Normal Not To Talk About The Things That Bother Me.”
There are some things that aren’t worth bringing up in a relationship. It’s the little things that each of us does. Constantly bringing up what isn’t important is a surefire way to create distance between you and the person you love. However, there are some major issues you may not be bringing up that have the power to end your relationship. It may be the way this person interacts with other people, or how they seem to be pulling away from you. It’s not normal or healthy to not discuss what’s eating you up inside. A relationship lives and dies based off of its communication. Talk to your partner — even if it’s scary — and do it often.
5. “I Won’t Find Someone This Special Ever Again.”
We, as humans, need companionship. We long to spend our lives being loved by someone special. When we find someone we think is that person, reason can get put on the back burner. The feelings your significant other makes you feel can be very intense and can make you think you’ll never meet another person this amazing — but that’s not necessarily true. Yes, the love you have together is special, but if the relationship isn’t working out, don’t forget that you can meet someone just as amazing. There are millions and millions of people out there looking for love.
Don’t let these lies keep you in an unhealthy relationship. It may feel like someone pulling your insides out if you break up, but you have to do what’s best for your life. Get honest with yourself about what needs to be done. You are a a special and unique individual. You will find someone who loves you as much as you love them. Don’t settle for good enough when you can have amazing.