11 Things You Should Never Say On A First Date (If You Want A Second One)
Dating can be a mine-field of misunderstandings. It is easy to feel uptight on a first date because in the back of our minds, we’re always worried about saying something to potentially offend the other person. Nothing kills the mood (or you chances at a first-date hookup) like a poorly timed joke or a political comment that flirts with the offensive. People are on guard while dating, and the reality is that often the other person might be looking for a reason to not like you.
As someone who lives life with a foot perpetually in my mouth, I understand how challenging it can be to say the right thing without looking like a fool. Fortunately, I’ve compiled 11 phrases you should absolutely never say on a date. Context is usually key, but with these statements you can take my word for it that they’ll never play well.
1. “I Would Pay But I Don’t Want To Offend You.”
At first this may seem very considerate of you, but in reality what your date is hearing is that you’re an asshole who is threatened by feminism. People aren’t often offended if you offer to pay…if they actually have a problem with it they’ll let you know. If anything, it is a kind gesture that they’ll appreciate.
2. “My Ex Used To _______”
I don’t care if your ex figured out a way to cure cancer. No one, I repeat no one, should talk about their ex on a first, second, or even third date. You need to give your date three times out to work off the illusion that your ex is long gone and buried.
3. “Do You Usually Dress Like This?”
Because all your date is going to hear is “I actually hate the way you dress please don’t be yourself.” It may seem like a totally weird thing to say, but you’d be shocked at how many people have said this to me after finally meeting me after chatting on Tinder for weeks.
4. “Can I Kiss You?”
If your date is feeling it and wants to start getting physical, you’ll know! Asking permission for a first kiss is usually a mood killer. Consent is sexy, but so is not asking permission when you know the mood is right.
5. “I Have To Teach You About Good Music.”
Because what your date hears is that every musician they just told you they loved sucks.
6. “She/He Will Have ________”
Because unless your date has said specifically that they want you to order for them, don’t assume they do! Sometimes they want a burger when you’ve ordered them the salad!
7. “When You Meet My Mom…”
Again, it is probably soon on a first date to talk about meeting the parents. Some people will be really into it and be flattered by your desire to include them in your life…while others will be extremely creeped out.
8. “We Should Totally Do _______”
It can be really overwhelming for a first date for you to be planning out dates in advanced. As sweet as it may seem to appear proactive and into the person you’re out on a date with… maybe wait until you’re official before planning out things weeks and months in advance.
9. Anything Racist, Sexist Or Homophobic
It is 2016, yet people still seem to think it is attractive to look like a bigot. If you do happen to have something to say, maybe just don’t on a first date? If you’re working on being a sh*tty person, give your date at least a few hours before you kill the illusion.
10. Stay Away From Politics
Unless you go into the date knowing which side of the political fence your date falls on, avoid this topic. Politics, especially during a presidential election, have the power to rip friendships apart. The last thing you want on a first date is a drink in the face for treading into dangerous conversation territory because you want to tell your date which candidates you think are idiots.
RELATED READING: 9 Questions You Should Definitely Ask On Your Next Date
11. Stay Brief With Religion
Similar to politics, religion is a touchy subject. While is it important to know where your date is with their faith (or lack thereof) it is a very charged subject for a first date. Ask simple questions like “what were you raised as?” in order to get a sense of your date’s beliefs. However, going in on how you think organized religion is dumb while your date is a practicing Catholic may not be the best route to go.